Why Slowing Down Feels So Hard (And Why You Probably Need It)
If you’ve ever told yourself…or better yet, if someone else has told you, to “slow down,” rest more, or take it easy—only to immediately feel anxious, restless, or irritated—you’re not lazy or bad at self-care.
You’re conditioned.
For a lot of us, slowing down doesn’t feel calming. It feels unsafe. And that’s not a personal failure—it’s a learned survival response.
After the chaos of the holidays and the intensity of January’s “fix yourself” energy, the suggestion to rest can feel like a pretty big “fuck you.” Like, excuse me? I’m barely holding it together—how am I supposed to slow down now?
And yet…this is often exactly the moment when slowing down matters most.
When Stillness Feels Like a Threat
Many of us learned, early on, that safety came from doing.
Being productive.
Being useful.
Being agreeable.
Being “on.”
Movement, busyness, achievement, and even self-improvement have become ways to regulate our nervous systems. If we stay active, we stay ahead of the discomfort. If we keep moving, we don’t have to feel what’s bubbling up, under the surface.
So when life finally asks us to pause, the body panics.
Stillness removes the distractions.
Slowness turns the volume up.
Quiet creates space for thoughts and sensations we’ve spent years outrunning.
No shit, that feels uncomfortable.
Why January Makes This Worse
By the time January rolls around, most of us are already fried.
We’ve spent weeks out of routine, out of our environments, eating differently, sleeping less, navigating family dynamics, old roles, and unspoken expectations. Our nervous systems are running on fumes.
Then January shows up like, “Okay, now rest. Be calm. Reset. Glow up.”
No wonder your body resists.
You’re not failing at slowing down—you’re coming off a long stretch of survival mode. And survival mode doesn’t shut off just because the calendar flips.
The Urge to Fix Yourself (Again)
When slowing down feels uncomfortable, the instinct is often to fix that discomfort.
More goals.
More structure.
More rules.
More discipline.
At least doing something feels familiar. It feels productive. It gives the illusion of control.
But constantly trying to improve yourself can be another way of avoiding what’s already here.
Sometimes the most regulating thing you can do isn’t add another practice—it’s stay present long enough to notice what your body is actually asking for.
And sometimes, it’s asking you to stop trying so hard.
[Cue this deep cut, Hot Take of 2023??? I think?]
Learning to Tolerate Stillness (Not Love It)
Let’s be clear: slowing down doesn’t mean you need to suddenly enjoy silence, meditate for an hour, or feel blissed out on the couch.
That’s not realistic. And for many nervous systems, it’s not safe—yet.
This is about tolerance, not transformation.
Can you pause for one extra breath before moving on?
Can you sit in a sensation without labeling it as good or bad?
Can you notice the urge to distract without immediately obeying it?
Stillness doesn’t have to feel peaceful to be useful.
Sometimes it just feels… awkward. Or itchy. Or boring. Or mildly uncomfortable.
That counts.
What This Has to Do With Yoga (And Why I Teach It This Way)
This is the intention behind my January yoga classes—especially this week.
We’re not forcing calm.
We’re not chasing flexibility or flow for the sake of it.
We’re practicing staying with ourselves a little longer than usual.
Longer holds.
Slower transitions.
More pauses where nothing “productive” is happening.
Not to punish you—but to help your body relearn that stillness doesn’t equal danger.
You don’t need to fix yourself in these classes.
You don’t need to perform wellness.
You just need to show up and notice.
A Different Kind of Progress
If slowing down feels uncomfortable right now, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means you’re paying attention.
Progress doesn’t always look like feeling better right away. Sometimes it looks like recognizing old patterns without immediately reacting to them.
And sometimes you just have to be a fucking rebel in January and stop trying to reinvent yourself—and let your nervous system catch up to the life you’ve already built.
Now, let’s put it into practice. :)
