New Year, Same Old Fucking Patterns: Why We Repeat the Same Cycles Every Year
We did it, y’all! Another year down.
New year, same old fucking patterns.
Every year we swear it’ll be different. Different mindset. Different body. Different relationship with food, work, ourselves. And every year—usually right on schedule—the same internal bullshit shows up like it never left.
Body image spirals.
Food noise.
Emotional whiplash.
That familiar, sinking feeling of “Wait… haven’t I already worked through this?”
If you’ve ever read old journal entries and thought, Are you kidding me? I’m still here?—you’re not broken. You’re human. And you’re probably paying closer attention than you ever have before.
[Not me projecting or anything…]
Let’s Name the Elephant: The Holidays Wreck Our Nervous Systems
A huge part of this January spiral isn’t mysterious at all.
You’ve just spent weeks being completely uprooted.
Your routines? Gone.
Your sleep? Off.
Your movement? Inconsistent.
Your eating? More indulgent, less familiar.
And maybe most importantly—you’ve spent extended time around people you normally choose not to, precisely because you’ve done the infamous “WORK” to protect your peace.
Family dynamics. Old roles. Old wounds. Unspoken tension.
Comments. Expectations. History.
Even if nothing “bad” happens, your body remembers.
When Healing Meets the Holidays
Here’s the part no one talks about enough:
You can do years of therapy, embodiment work, boundary-setting, and nervous system regulation—and still find yourself regressing around family.
Not because the work didn’t stick.
But because proximity reactivates memory.
You don’t just visit home—you visit old versions of yourself.
Suddenly you’re not a capable adult with discernment and agency.
You’re fifteen again.
Scanning the room.
Shrinking or bracing or performing.
Eating differently. Thinking differently. Coping differently.
And none of that is a conscious choice.
Your body just slips into old patterns because it’s been here before.
Then January Hits
And here’s where it really fucks with you.
You leave the holidays and get launched back into your “normal” life—your routines, your values, the version of yourself you’ve worked hard to build.
Except now you feel:
dysregulated
heavy
disconnected from your body
weirdly obsessive about food
emotionally raw
And instead of recognizing what just happened, we tell ourselves a much crueler story:
“Why am I like this again?”
“I thought I was past this.”
“I need to get it together.”
So every January becomes a season of repair.
Picking up the pieces.
Re-regulating.
Rebuilding trust with your body.
Relearning how to be yourself again.
Again.
And again.
And again.
That is exhausting.
This Isn’t Failure — It’s a Stress Response
None of this means you’re doing healing wrong.
It means you were:
out of routine
out of environment
out of regulation
immersed in relational dynamics your nervous system learned in childhood
And then expected to snap back like nothing happened.
That’s not realistic.
That’s not compassionate.
That’s not how bodies work.
Why the Same Patterns Show Up Every Year
This isn’t about discipline or willpower.
Your Nervous System Has a Longer Memory Than You Do
Trauma doesn’t live in your journal—it lives in your body.
Certain times of year, certain people, certain smells, foods, or roles cue your system into an old state. The body reacts before the mind can say, “I’m safe now.”
This isn’t self-sabotage.
It’s conditioning.
External Change Doesn’t Equal Internal Integration
You can build a life that feels aligned and still have your system temporarily revert under pressure.
Integration takes repetition, safety, and time. Especially when the stressor is relational.
The Brain “Blacks Out” on Purpose
Every year we think, This time will be different.
And every year we’re surprised.
How many times have you left the holidays saying,
“Okay. I’ve learned that three days with my family is my absolute max. That’s it.”
Only to go back the next year for five days like, “It’ll be fine. I’m different now.”
And then—boom. Here we are again.
That’s not denial. That’s biology.
If we fully remembered how destabilizing the holidays were—how dysregulated we felt, how much we regressed, how long it took to feel like ourselves again—we’d probably dread them entirely. So the brain does us a favor. It softens the memory just enough to let us try again. And you’ll forget everything you’ve read here by tomorrow. ;)
Hope isn’t stupidity.
It’s survival.
Maybe the Pattern Isn’t the Problem
Here’s the reframe that actually matters:
What if January isn’t a personal failure—but a predictable comedown?
What if the pattern isn’t asking to be eradicated, but anticipated?
What if instead of saying:
“Why am I still here?”
You asked:
“Of course I feel like this—look at what my system just moved through.”
That shift alone can interrupt the shame loop.
Same Pattern. New Context. New Compassion.
If you’re finding yourself back in familiar internal territory this January, it doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means your nervous system has been through a lot.
And maybe this year isn’t about putting yourself back together again—
maybe it’s about letting yourself recover without self-criticism and judgement. Dare I say, with compassion.
Same year.
Same patterns.
But maybe, finally, a little more gentleness with the aftermath.
That’s not nothing.
That’s healing in real time.
If your body’s still recovering from the holidays and your brain keeps replaying old bullshit, my January yoga classes are here for you. Less pushing, more breathing, and a little space to remember you’re alive. No judgment. No empty, “inspirational quotes.” Just you, moving, breathing, and being.
